33 Years is the Blink of an Eye

I’ve been at this for thirty-three years.  It feels insane to type that.  It’s hard to believe I am forty-four years old.  I still feel nineteen.  I think back about certain milestones, both big and small:

My grandfather’s Aria acoustic guitar, learning “Louie, Louie” and the intro to “Wanted Dead or Alive”.  Guitar lessons from all three music stores in town.

Middle school band playing trombone, baritone and trumpet, fighting Jacob Snow and Brian Grayson for first chair, the three of us exchanging places almost every week (though I recall Brian always being the guy to beat).  

Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols.

Falling in love with the music of Buddy Holly.

My high school bands: The Disgruntled Postal Workers and Dodge Ball.  Doing gigs with pleatherpants, The Barnhills and Don’t Call Me Brian.  Talking on the phone with Tony Barsotti and George Reagan of Hagfish.  Singing on stage at the Emerson with Squirtgun.  Meeting Everclear, Green Day, Superdrag, Goldfinger, Sugar Ray, Hagfish, the Descendents, and more.  

Seeing Bob Dylan, Merle Haggard, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Tom Petty, B.B. King, Chuck Berry, Lou Reed and Ray Charles in concert (along with hundreds of others).

Britpop, the Beatles, Dylan, Harry Smith’s Anthology of American Folk Music and the Velvet Underground.  

Ryan Adams’ Heartbreaker.  Rediscovering classic country music.  The first years in Los Angeles with Waz, Minibar, Pete Yorn and having my drunk ass called out by Rhett Miller at the Largo.  

Nick Cave, the Smiths, and Depeche Mode.

Making a damn good punk record with Vice Tricks.  Working with Paul Roessler at Kitten Robot Studios on the first Kittenhead record.  Showing up to the studio early just to ask him about the early L.A. punk scene and being friends with Pat Smear, Darby Crash and Jeffrey Lee Pierce.  Working with Bill Stevenson and Jason Livermore on my first solo project.  

Completely reinventing my songwriting process in my home studio, giving myself permission to make whatever music I wanted to make and having it expertly finished by Travis Dolan at Level 32 Studio.  

—

In 2024, I learned to believe in myself.  I was reminded of how great it is to get in a room with three other people and make music.  I once again felt that soulful intimacy of creating something with other people.  I played and sang, but somehow stepped out of myself as four insanely talented people helped me to take my songs, my stories, to a place I could have never taken them on my own.  Those people, who I greatly respect and admire, made me feel like I was no different than them.  For the first time in my life, honestly, I felt like I belonged somewhere, if only for a moment, if only locked in that particular time and space.  I wasn’t listening to my favorite record, I was in the middle of it.  I was inside of it - I was the spark that lit the blaze.

At forty-four years old, finally, I have nothing left to prove.  I’ve made a great record.  Not only do I have nothing to prove to anyone else, I have nothing left to prove to myself.  I know I can do this.  This is not a hobby, I am an artist.  It’s at the core of who I am and I am finally comfortable admitting that and accepting myself for it.  No more making excuses for why, although I work hard at my day job, I’ve never had any major career aspirations.  All I want to do is love God, love my family and make art.  I don’t always want those things in the right order.  If I died tomorrow, I’d have no musical regrets as I laid there waiting to be taken from my body.

However, until that day comes, I’m not done.  In fact, as 2025 dawns on us, I feel like I’m at the beginning of something, nowhere near the end.

Happy New Year’s to everyone and I can’t wait to share all this with you as soon as possible.  

Jeremy

9:45 pm, Friday, December 27, 2024