What Are You Willing to Lose?
What are you willing to lose? - Lucero
Ninety-nine times out of one hundred, if I write something, it’s because I need to hear it. Whether that’s a song, a social media post, or whatever, I’m not putting things out into the world as if I’m some kind of wise guru, I’m simply saying things that are on my mind. And the decision to make those thoughts public revolve around the idea that if I need to hear these things, then maybe someone else does too.
For all the good social media is capable of, the design of it carries this innate pressure to add to it. If I want people to hear my music and to grow my following, I need to post every day and put out this content, that quite frankly, I don’t have the time or talent to make. “Well, if you want to make it, you better find the time.” Sure, okay, but “making it” sometimes isn’t worth the cost. Almost everything in life can be achieved if you’re willing to give up something else. In an ethical world, that something else might be (for a musician) going home every night, having stable relationships, etc. Giving up all the normalities of life in pursuit of your art. But we don’t live in an ethical world. Which is why things like MeToo happen. Those with power desire things that aren’t easily acquired and are willing to trade their power, or often it’s just a lie of trading their power, for someone’s innocence, dignity or pride.
See the question always boils down to: what do you want and what are you willing to trade for it?
Two Flannery O’Connor quotes come to mind.
“I am a writer because writing is what I do best.”
“The artist prays by creating.”
Art is what I do and it’s who I am. But it’s not all of who I am. It’s my vocation. That’s a big chunk, but it’s not 100%. If I don’t “make it” because I didn’t skip my daughter’s hockey practices in order to make more TikTok videos, I am okay with that. No regrets. I’m not trading my kid or my marriage for anything, even my art. But, if I don’t put everything into my art with the time, talent, and financial resources (unfortunately) I have, that’s what I wouldn’t be able to live with.
At this stage of my life, these decisions are much easier to make. When I was in my twenties, these sorts of things were more difficult. I had less to lose and (so I thought) more to gain. The world is full of shiny things that are designed to make us forget everything else in pursuit of them. My Big Dreams are modest by most standards, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less foolish to pursue them at all costs. So what if I never own a 1949 Ford Tudor? I hope I do, but it’s okay if I don’t.
The beauty in all of this mental conflict is that, often, doing the right thing by yourself is often the right thing to do in marketing yourself. Just like most people play at rebellion, most people pretend they don’t care about success. They say they don’t care but every action betrays those words. However, if you can actually not care, people will be interested in you because of it. Jon Faverau nailed the concept of this in the context of a break up in Swingers. See, the greats all wanted to be successful. No matter what Pearl Jam or Nirvana or any of them said, their actions showed a desire for global success. However, whether it was Elvis, the Beatles, Nirvana or U2, they didn’t chase trends or compromise their art in pursuit of fame. What made them famous was the fact they were different than everyone else. That’s what made them stand out.
I can’t control what the world thinks of me, but I can control what I think of me. And being the best version of me I’m capable of being is good enough for me no matter what anyone else thinks of it.